Drunk Compliance Tester

It's the only way this shit made it past testing.

9
Dec

I was wrong, it doesn’t violate 2.1. Violates 3.5, common decency

It appears I must make some corrections - the previously featured app does not violate 2.1 (must do more than just display ads), as you can actually play the game. Kinda.

It does, however, violate 3.5 (3.5 Your app must fully support touch input, and fully support keyboard and mouse input) as you must use the left/right keys to play the game.

It also violates common sense/decency as it is blatent copying of resources (images/sounds) from Doodle Jump.

There are other issues - buttons have no text on them, but trigger actions, and there is an invisible button to quit a running game but it doesn’t reset the ‘new game’ button so you can’t click it to start another.

Pure and simple shovelware.

9
Dec
2.1 Your app must not display only ads If your app includes or displays ads, it must provide additional functionality beyond the ads this just has a non interactive simulation of another companies game. Update: see http://drunktester.co/post/37505558306/i-was-wrong-it-doesnt-violate-2-1-violates-3-5

2.1 Your app must not display only ads

If your app includes or displays ads, it must provide additional functionality beyond the ads

this just has a non interactive simulation of another companies game.

Update: see http://drunktester.co/post/37505558306/i-was-wrong-it-doesnt-violate-2-1-violates-3-5

21
Nov

In theory, I can shut this down

From Pete Brown’s blog,

WACK now fails your app if you use the default branding images

This is great. In theory, this means no more apps will get through without the correct icons set.

9
Nov

No Win8 store accessible on the web? I fixed that for you.

One of the issues (according to me) with the Windows 8 store is that you can’t browse apps via anything other platform/system, including Windows 7 or mobile devices.

So yesterday, in a fit of boredom/rage, I put together a store, which you can browse at http://drunktester.azurewebsites.net/

Its currently ‘locked’ to en-au, because I haven’t added an option to enter your region. It is, however, taking data directly from Microsoft - using the exact same web feeds that the store app does - so it should be all ‘live’.

Source, if you’re interested, is at https://github.com/VikingCode/DrunkStore It’s built using KnockoutJS, a single C# generic-proxy (to get around CORS issues), and jquery.

7
Nov
Apple don’t allow employees to blog, but they also don’t allow them to create woeful things. TapRacer is a simplistic game, created by a Microsoft Premier Field Engineer (PFE) Challenge your friends to tap faster than you It contains three buttons, presumably at least that many lines of logic, has no sharing or other functions and is kinda broken in snapped mode (just the start button). The irony is that PFE’s (in other fields) ran the App Excellence Labs (AEL) - which were actually fantastic - and I can’t see anyway how this would have passed - no sharing, no swipe up/down, ‘fantastic’ design, lacking ‘about’ pane. Technically not certification violations, just poor form. Angry pants: on.

Apple don’t allow employees to blog, but they also don’t allow them to create woeful things.

TapRacer is a simplistic game, created by a Microsoft Premier Field Engineer (PFE)

Challenge your friends to tap faster than you

It contains three buttons, presumably at least that many lines of logic, has no sharing or other functions and is kinda broken in snapped mode (just the start button).

The irony is that PFE’s (in other fields) ran the App Excellence Labs (AEL) - which were actually fantastic - and I can’t see anyway how this would have passed - no sharing, no swipe up/down, ‘fantastic’ design, lacking ‘about’ pane. Technically not certification violations, just poor form.

Angry pants: on.

6
Nov
Windows 8 store “by the numbers” (poster) Fullsize: http://i.imgur.com/HP7MF.png (2480x6831) If there is interest in how I obtained the data, I’m considering throwing the little app (SnarkBot) up on GitHub.

Windows 8 store “by the numbers” (poster)

Fullsize: http://i.imgur.com/HP7MF.png (2480x6831)

If there is interest in how I obtained the data, I’m considering throwing the little app (SnarkBot) up on GitHub.

5
Nov

How does your app work without an internet connection?

3.2 Your app must not stop responding, end unexpectedly, or contain programming errors

This is a tricky one - how do you release a perfect app, every time? There isn’t a beta process for Win8 apps, so you have to do a lot of testing.

One item to test that is often overlooked is “How does my app run if it doesn’t have an internet connection?”. In WP7, if you didn’t check that, you’d get a fail. In Win8, you’ll fail depending on the person running your apps certification.

TechAU and WPDownUnder should both be put on notice, as they both fail miserably in that regard.

5
Nov
As of Saturday, Kusuma Sruthi is the number one offender publishing a whopping 22 apps without app icons. Based on the name, they sound like they’re all the same game anyway. More stats/offenders will be posted later this week

As of Saturday, Kusuma Sruthi is the number one offender publishing a whopping 22 apps without app icons. Based on the name, they sound like they’re all the same game anyway.

More stats/offenders will be posted later this week

4
Nov
All the ‘social’ apps that couldn’t be bothered with icons or correct coloured text. At least they had the decency not to try and charge money.

All the ‘social’ apps that couldn’t be bothered with icons or correct coloured text. At least they had the decency not to try and charge money.

4
Nov
You can find the official, Microsoft produced, “Lync” app in the Windows 8 store by searching for ‘fart’. This ones just too funny.

You can find the official, Microsoft produced, “Lync” app in the Windows 8 store by searching for ‘fart’.

This ones just too funny.